You knew they were here somewhere:
A man met his friend in a shopping centre. The friend had a look at his feet and asked, “Why are you wearing one red and one black sock”? The man paused for a moment then said, “I ‘m not sure, but I have another pair like this at home”.
After putting on three pairs of socks, six jumpers, six pairs of trousers, five woolly hats, four scarves, two thick coats and a pair of boots, I waddled outside.
Ten seconds later I was laying face down in the snow and I couldn’t move.
“You’re coming with me,” said the Primark security guard.
A man gets up one morning to find his wife in the kitchen, cooking. He sees one of his socks in the frying pan. “What are you doing?” he asks.
“I’m doing what you asked me to do last night when you came to bed drunk,” she replied.
Puzzled, the man walks away thinking to himself, “I don’t remember asking her to cook my sock.”